5 WAYS TO GET OVER FEAR AND COMPARISON

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Because I’m a makeup coach and mentor usually by mid –December loads of emails start pouring in from artists who want to up their game, but sadly by February most realizes that those things on the goal list may not come as easily as they thought so a bit of either desperation or depression sets in.  

It's usually around the same time that I hear comments from peers telling me - I have an advantage when it comes to reaching my goals or getting better gigs because I’ve been doing this a long time.  You see, people mistakenly think things are “easy” for me or they think that I mustn’t face any major obstacles because I work all the time.   

Well guess what… I’m calling “bullsh*t” on that!  That's right - you heard me love.   It’s all a façade!  Everyone goes through their own stuff and it doesn't matter how long you've been doing something or how many connections you have. 

The industry goes in cycles and sometimes clients you've had forever move on, change directions or go out of business. Nothing is guaranteed.  And, looking to the left and right and thinking that everyone else has it soo good (except you) or assuming that everything is so easy for everyone else (except you) is nothing but a mindset minefield that traps you into the most disappointing, dirty comparison pit around. 

Here's the thing my friend, it does NO GOOD to curl yourself up in the pit to roll around with your mucky “I’m not good enough” sabotaging chatter… and once you are there it’s easy to get stuck by that beautiful “woe is me” distraction.

You open the door to an icky can of worms… The best case scenario of those “ I’m not good enough” thoughts leads to, second guessing your skills, becoming insecure about what you offer, making excuses and  ultimately not doing a good job for your clients because you are too busy swirling in the head game to show up and actually rock it out with your artistry.  We’ve all been there from time to time. The worst case scenario of this mindset leads to gossiping or criticizing others, having a bad attitude on set, lack of focus and self-sabotaging behaviors.

Whatever you do, don't cozy up to the popular crowd of comparison and her annoying bff called fear because fear is the nastiest of friends, leading to – disillusion, anger, bitterness, loss of motivation and even blocked creativity.  So let’s kick this little beatch of fear and comparison and all that they bring with them to the curb.  Let’s drive right through them like a point guard takes the ball to the basket (seriously did I just write a basketball reference?) In any case… let’s dominate!

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Here are a few steps to take:

1)      Focus on your own path and figure out your WHY? – I always say we are created uniquely and in the big picture what is meant for others is not always meant for us.  Why do you want to achieve the goals you have set? Why are you passionate about them?  Start with the Why?

2)      Focus on the privilege and blessings – if your passion is makeup and you get to do it in ANY capacity count your blessings!  The number of people who have dreams of doing it but never try or never do it could pave the road to the land of OZ… if you are doing it say THANK YOU God and keep up the gratitude!

3)      Embrace the obstacles… you needed them to sharpen you, refine you, push you and get you closer to where you want to be.  Trust me, I have not built a career that is free of obstacles, I just powered through them (sometimes with tears, sometimes with ice cream or chocolate) and sometimes I found the path around them. You can’t escape them so stop expecting to! I get work because I work at it… you can never afford to become complacent no matter what level you are at.

4)      Stop paying attention to what other people are doing …  I don’t mean you should be clueless to what’s happening in your market or with your peers, but stop gawking on  social media and keeping track of what everyone else is doing ALL the time.  This only leads to disappointment and gets you spinning in the “why not me” mode.  It’s a distraction that never helps.  Instead use social media strategically with purpose so it doesn’t derail your productivity.

5)      Make a list of what only YOU can offer people… I am not talking about some crazy makeup package or contouring technique… think about it - no one has your laugh, your touch, your sense of humor, your kindness, your smartness… you are the only one who is created just exactly like you… THIS is what you can do better than anyone else!

Now, pull on your get- me- out- of –the- pit “big kid pants” and get yourself in the groove again! You can do this!

And Remember!

 "You will never find in any dictionary where the word success comes before failure”- Diane Aiello

 

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